Freedom to Change. Or not.

So lately I've been feeling a bit more free. Could be that Academy is finally done for the school year, or that ASC is winding down, or perhaps that the days are getting longer and warmer. Or it could be that I've felt a bit more free to share my feelings with some folks who have been in my life for a while, but I've never really let them know what was happening in my head. Both of them made comments to the effect of "That's going on inside you? I had no idea, you hide it so well!" Well maybe I'm done hiding. It's not really that much has changed as far as the battle fronts that I've been fighting on. I'm still struggling with how to handle the drama team and be an actress at the same time. I'm still struggling with my weight and how to be happy in who I am right now. (I accuse Joe all the time of not loving me as I am and waiting for me to change, but I'm doing the same thing to myself.) But I don't feel as guilty for having a lazy day. Or saying "no, I can't do that today." On the other hand, I've got more ideas in my head for the start of books. Steve came up to visit and we played card games and board games til midnight. I'm going to the Poconos this weekend. And it all feels good. I can exist like this. Yes, I'll continually be striving for more, and yes, there are big things on the horizion (try coordinating a Night of One Acts from a sick bed... i dare ya!) But I will be ok. In less than a week, I'll be having my surgery finally. I'll be laid up from usual activities for at least 4 months, but after that, the sky is the limit. I am my own limit, and I would love to make sure that I am limitless. Are you?